📘 Smart-Book
Part 1 — Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
This section teaches 3 simple rules that help you communicate without conflict, build cooperation, and win trust. Use the cards below to study, practice, and apply them in real life.
1 Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain Reduce conflict
Meaning: Avoid blaming, judging, or complaining about others.
When people feel attacked, they defend themselves instead of improving.
Why it works: Criticism hurts pride and creates resistance. Cooperation grows when you keep respect and focus on solutions.
❌ Don’t say
“You always do this wrong.”
✅ Try this
“Let’s see how we can improve this together.”
Mini practice: Replace one complaint with one solution sentence.
- Complaint → “This is a mess.”
- Solution → “Let’s set a clear checklist so it’s faster next time.”
2 Give honest and sincere appreciation Boost motivation
Meaning: Praise people genuinely for what they do well.
Not flattery. Real appreciation is specific and true.
Why it works: People want to feel valued. When you appreciate sincerely, they repeat the good behavior.
❌ Weak / fake
“Good job.”
(Too general, may feel empty.)
✅ Strong / sincere
“You handled the client calmly. That helped a lot.”
(Specific behavior + positive impact.)
Quick formula: Action + Impact
- “You checked the details carefully, so we avoided mistakes.”
- “You arrived early, so the team started on time.”
3 Arouse in the other person an eager want Get buy-in
Meaning: Talk about what they want, not only what you want.
People act to satisfy their needs (comfort, time, money, respect, safety).
Why it works: Commands create resistance. When you connect a request to their benefit, they cooperate willingly.
❌ Don’t say
“Do this because I said so.”
✅ Try this
“If we do it this way, you’ll save time and reduce problems later.”
Mini checklist: Before you ask, answer these:
- What do they care about most right now?
- What problem does this solve for them?
- How can I explain it in one simple benefit sentence?
Tags:
Dale Carnegie _ Q&A